Garden Epiphany, Part 2

So God keeps giving me more examples of how He's working even the littlest details into my life and brings it ever so gently to my attention.
I picked the veggies from our garden a few days ago...and while I was so excited to see some radishes and cucumbers, I realized that I have very few tomatoes to show off.

"Hmm, why is that?" I thought. Last year, our tomatoes were BOOMING! I mean, they kept growing and growing, and we could barely keep up with picking and giving them away. That's how well they were doing.

This year, relying on the same "green thumb luck", I planted the tomatoes, diligently watered them along with the rest of the garden, but...that was it. I was not concerned; I was not paying much attention; I was trusting that the sun and the rain and the soil would do their magical thing, and we'll have bucketfuls of cherry tomatoes once again.

Well, not quite so.
As I looked into my tray of veggies, I realized one simple truth:
A man reaps what he sows.

It comes directly from the Bible:
Galatians 6:7-9
7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

I have spent a lot of time on tending to my radishes. I strategically chose a very good spot for them in the garden, so that they can be easily reached for easy picking. I also thinned them out for the first time ever to allow them enough space to grow to their best potential.

Oh how I have "babied" my cucumbers. Truly, I did. I sprouted them in a wet cloth first, and then I carefully planted each sprout into a well-raked wet soil. I watered them daily, perhaps, giving them just an extra minute or two of hosing...I weeded any and all of the unwelcomed flora visitors near my cucumbers right away. I put stakes next to each cucumber plant to help them climb and have more space for the leaves, flowers, and potential vegetables. I so wanted to succeed this year. I wanted to have a good harvest of cucumbers. And? I did. I surely did. I was feeling happy and accomplished.
But what about my tomatoes???

I glanced over at my two kiddos running around in the backyard chasing pretend "bad guys" and saving the world. My mind started thinking outside of the "vegetable box", and inside of my immediate world--my family. Am I treating raising my kids the same way...maybe? Am I paying attention to one or two areas of their development but leaving the rest to just "grow" relying on the good "soil, just enough sun and rain"? Just because I weed the bad influences, does it mean my kids are well protected? Or does it mean their needs are only met on this very basic level?

I looked again at my kids and at my garden...Now I clearly saw the parallels.

My cucumbers are doing wonderfully this year. I invested so much time and energy in them, and they are producing such healthy and abundant harvest.
My kids are noticeably growing this summer. Nick grew 2 shoe sizes and 1 clothes size, and Lucy grew 1 shoe size and sprouted in height. They are eating so well, and I am pleased how smooth our transition is going from the processed food to wholesome ("made from nature", as Nick often says) meals and snacks. I invest so much time, energy, and resources into their well-being, nutritious food, and physical development, and it clearly paid off.

My radishes are amazing this year. I had to come up with some creative ways to plant them as there wasn't much space left after all the "big" plants went in. They took off no problem. They grew fast, and they delivered vibrant red bulbs that tasted sweet with just enough of a bitter bite to them, you know, for the fun of it :) It is such an easy vegetable to grow, and it gives the kids a very quick and fun visual of how we can have food on our table from a tiny seed into a real vegetable in just 30 days!
My kids get a lot of fun a creative activities on a weekly basis. I feel like this is my strong point as a parent: I love crafts; I love being outside; I love fun things and places. Their imaginations blossom, and they love when we do fun projects together. We are never bored, that's for sure.

Now, my tomatoes, however...oh they are struggling this year. They look frail, and you can tell they are weak plants. The stems are thin, and the flowers are tiny and few. They produce about 5-8 tiny cherry tomatoes a week (out of 4 plants!!). I'm happy they haven't completely withered, but I am sad to see them barely surviving. I have not paid much attention to their nutrition or weeding. I have not raked the soil around them much. I have watered them and installed wired support, but that's pretty much it. I haven't invested much into my tomatoes, and...they are NOT producing fruit.
My kids' spiritual lives are weak. I hate to admit it, but this is the weakest point of my parenting. I find time for fun and nutrition, but I can't seem to build up the same commitment to their spiritual well-being as I do for their physical and creative ones. We pray daily, and we talk about God when situations arise. But other than that, there is no intentional investment into that aspect of their lives. There's no intentional Bible reading, and there's no intentional application. Other than the holidays, when I try to take it to another level and be more proactive about exposing them to the Scriptures and the Christian values, I do not do much about their spiritual development on a daily basis.
I cannot rely on our church activities or on their friends' influence alone. It just won't cut it. It is my sole responsibility as a parent to raise my children in the knowledge of our Heavenly Father and help them develop a personal relationship with Him.

 Psalms 127:3-5
Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.

Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. 
Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you like down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 11:18-19 (NIV)

Joel 1:3
Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. 

I see it ever so clearly now how God was speaking to me through my tray of harvested veggies...Lay off the crafts and food, mama. Invest into their souls.

Garden Epiphany, part 1

I had a bit of epiphany in my garden today....
A few weeks ago as I was weeding my garden, I noticed something interesting. On one edge of our garden we planted marigolds, on the edge 90 degrees to it, we planted corn. As our plants took off and started gaining strength and growing, in the cinder block "cell" right between them two plants appeared. Originally, the kids dropped a corn seed in there, but it never came out, so for the longest time that "cell" was bare. 

Now, however, to my surprise, there were two plants growing. One, closest to the marigolds, resembled the flowers in the shape of the leaves, and the other--looked exactly like a new sprout of corn. 

"Huh", I thought to myself, "Perhaps, this corn seed just took longer to germinate, and a marigold seed just accidentally flew into this same cell with the wind?" 
That seemed like a plausible explanation, and I let them be. 

A week later, I had noticed that those two plants did not grow like marigolds and corn are supposed to. There was something different and awkward...They were green and luscious, soaking up every drop of water and a ray of sun they could, they LOOKED marvelous, and with a naked eye, you wouldn't even tell that they indeed were WEEDS. 

"You almost tricked me, guys", I might have said out loud to them. 
Even though I knew they were weeds, I let them grow. 

I thought "Well, maybe they'll bloom with some pretty flowers and be of benefit that way?" 

But no...there were no blooms and no pretty flowers...There was just more and more weeds. They grew tall. They grew strong. Now you could clearly see what they are. And it's painful to see those huge weeds in my garden...They don't belong. They are fake. They are done.

My Bible reading was 2 Peter 2:1-9

2 Peter 2:2-3 (NIV)
But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them—bringing swift destruction on themselves. [2] Many will follow their depraved conduct and will bring the way of truth into disrepute. [3] In their greed these teachers will exploit you with fabricated stories. Their condemnation has long been hanging over them, and their destruction has not been sleeping.


And it dawned on me: this exactly how the false teachers are! Like the weeds, who pretend to be beneficial and good, but in the end they bare no fruit and hold no value. They are pretentious. They give you a false sense of hope. They look luscious and strong, yet they are nothing but fake wannabes...

I pulled the weeds out.
I don't want them to compromise the purity and genuineness of our garden. Even though I know they are just weeds, I want them out of my sight and mind. I don't to want to give them any chances to spread their destructive seeds in our garden. Adios, fake amigos. Your place is down there on the ground...to dry out and be thrown away.

It always amazes me how God can show us the truth in the simplest ways...

Today was a good day...

Hello there again! Two days in a row? Whoa...Something must be really brewing up there, haha...

I feel like my Birthday came a week early this year...For the second day in a row, my hubby is sending me away from the house to cook up something fun with the kids for my Birthday. I feel really spoiled. And grateful. For many reasons :) 

And so of all spaces and places I find myself in a Starbucks again with a venti iced coffee at my side and my little old white MacBook on my lap typing away my thoughts.

Today was a good day...

The kiddos went to camp for a few hours, and it was pouring all morning. Instead of running errands, I ended up on the couch with a comfy blanket...It was one of those mornings when I NEEDED to stay in and press a "pause" button on the busyness of life. In just 2 hours, I got my Bible reading done, had a wonderful time of prayer, read a devotional I've been putting off, wrote things down in my journal, read a few really encouraging blog posts...

NO, my house didn't get cleaned...And yes, the laundry keeps piling on...but after having spent that valuable time alone with God, I realized that having a messy house does not make me a bad wife and Mom. I took care of my spiritual thirst and hunger, and this morning energized and recharged me like no fancy super-caffeinated drink can ever do.

No, I am not a lazy and lousy house keeper. I am a "happy home" maker. I need to be saturated in God's goodness and replenished with His living truth in order to be the best that I am for my husband and my children, to make them happy, to make this home happy, and to create happy memories in it.

So yes, today was a good day. 

I feel blessed and grateful.

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My scripture reading today was 2 Peter 3:18 (NIV)
18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.

Changes...

     
Well, hello there....
A million times I have stopped by to write something worthwhile here, and every time I would get chocked up and sit in silence, knowing that my head will explode if I don't, but also sensing that I do not wish to write a "blah-blah" post for the sake of writing at least something. This has NOT been the idea behind this blog, and I was not willing to compromise it.
When I started, I wanted just an outlet for my emotions after my Dad's passing, and then I thought I would share my many craft projects I was occupying myself with to stay distracted and focused on something other than crying and grieving....but soon enough I have realized: I want something more. I didn't know what that was, but I knew I was missing something, and that "something" was integral, special, too important to ignore...So I have pondered.

My blog adventures just have not been quite the inspiring writing experience I had envisioned in my head...I can't say I was frustrated because I never set that expectation for this blog to go anywhere further than my couch, ha. However, every now and then, I would go back to it and think, "I wonder why this is something I long for, but somehow I am not invested and, what's even more intriguing, why am I not upset?"

After some serious soul searching this year, I think I'm just starting to grasp what I've been longing for specifically: a place to be myself, to be open about my faith, to be able to meet people who share the same passions and make new friends. It's not about stats; it's not about followers; it's not about popularity and earning money...it's about fellowship. A fellowship with fellow online peeps that is honoring to God is what I am after. A fellowship that is not about ME, but is about HIM and spreading the good news is what I long for. A fellowship that brings glory to God through everything we say or do is what I deeply desire. I am fully aware that Internet blog land is ginormous, and chances are high that my little blog might stay a tiny little space where I come ever so often and vent all by myself. I am not afraid of that.

I think I'm finally at a point where I can sense God's presence in seeking direction for my blog. I haven't before...all there really was just a desire to run away from the painful emotions and to immerse myself into the virtual reality where I can hide behind the "avatar" and have a happy Internet life with no death or betrayal...How silly.

I am encouraged and hopeful that this is a new beginning of something refreshing and wonderful, something that will bring people to Christ, something that would strengthen my own faith and inspire me to explore the blog land deeper than the superficial surfing and admiring the pretty pictures.
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There will be some changes made to this blog soon...I want to start afresh and move forward with a better vision and excitement.

Blog Notes...

Hi, blog. 

Long time, no see...I clearly failed to keep up with it, and I'm not sure where to go from here. 

I started this blog hoping it would be an outlet for my emotions and creativity, but I have realized over this past year that it is very painful for me to write about my emotions, and specifically, about my Dad...

I thought it would be easier to just let out all the emotions here, cry them out, scream them out, if you will. It's not. Even if it's in a blog, a place of certain serenity and anonymity...it's still hard. I think every time I tried to write something, I was reminded of what pushed me to start this blog--my Dad's passing--and I would get so sad and unmotivated that fun creative ideas I wanted to share just seemed so very inappropriate, and I would feel guilty.

It's been over a year now. Things have changed. Not better or worse, just changed. The feeling of grief is not as acute and piercing as it used to be, but a dull tug of sadness and missing my Dad is still present, and it's reminding me that... "I'm human." 

I don't really know what to do with this blog...I feel like quitting, but I know I'll feel worse if I do.  Start another one, just for crafts? I think I'll faint even at just the idea...I feel overwhelmed and overcommitted.

I'm going to leave it up to God...praying and pondering upon His will and calling is what always gets me through rough patches.

Ta-ta for now...

UPDATE: I've decided to give it another go. I'll probably move things around and edit some of the previous posts, so that they all fit into my vision of this blog better. I have to be careful and try not to be consumed by blogging and only devote my time to it when I actually have free time, and only when I feel inspired to write and share something, not because I have to write something this week or feel guilty that I haven't. My family will always come first, and blog second. There's just no other way around it for me. So that's that.