I know this is probably the last thing I should be starting right now, given my current state of mind and heart, but...as they say, blogging is cheaper than therapy, and I feel there is a grain of truth in it somewhere. I can't help but wonder if blogging would help me get over some heartache by sharing and pondering and also, in a way, start a new chapter in life with new friends, new outlook, new me. Here is to hoping.
About a month ago, my Dad passed away.
Cancer.
This horrible, frightening, evil word.
It happened so fast that I don't think even he realized what had happened.
It took only about a week for Dad to go from a healthy looking, happy and cheerful man to someone who only resembled my Dad because of his unmistakable buzz-short gray hair.
A week.
My family and I just visited with my parents in August, having a fun summer, creating wonderful memories.
In October, everything changed.
It's hard to believe that he's gone...there is no more Papa...there is no more silly redundant jokes, there is no more funny sounds on Skype for the kids, there is no more yummy potato pancakes only he knew how to make right...All the memories, all the overwhelming emotions of love and loss, all the sorrow and tears...IT HURTS. A LOT.
I struggle to make sense of it all, but...life is such.
Papulya, as I used to affectionately call him, may be gone physically, but he always, I mean it, always will live in my heart. I'm sure there will be more musings and posts about loss and heartache because you don't just get over it one day and feel OK all of a sudden. But I would like to dedicate this first post to my beloved Papa, who in a way inspired and encouraged me to start this blog.
I love you.
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