Hi there :)

I think it may be the high time to introduce myself.
Hi, my name is Katya.

Funny/weird/unusual name, you say? Yep. That's my name all right. I'm originally from Belarus, a former part of the USSR. "Punky" is a nickname my hubby gave me when we met :)
I'm a Russian girl who fell in love with an American boy and found her happiness and home here, in the United States. Who would have thought??? I definitely never imagined my life to take such a turn, but it did, and I am forever thankful that God had brought the two of us together and allowed us to have a beautiful family with two little loves.

God, you say? Yep. HE is a big part of who I am today, and without HIM, I am nothing. HIS love and grace are bigger than anything I can imagine, and finding HIM was the biggest and BEST event in my life.


Two little loves, you say? Yep and yep :) I am a happy Mama of two crazy but wonderful kids, a son and a daughter. I work full-time from home...and no, I'm not telecommuting :) My job is to be a full-time Mom and a Wife, and I'm loving every minute of my house-wife-mommy-hood, no matter how hard, demanding, and exhausting it can be!!!

I enjoy (and that's an understatement, ha) taking pictures, cooking, traveling, and crafting with the kids, for the kids, and in spite of the kids! :)


What's the purpose of this blog? The name of it kinda speaks for itself :) I have about a million thoughts and emotions brewing in my head and heart at any given moment, but I hope that out of this clutter somehow I will be able to pick out now and then something interesting to share with the ever-so amazing population of the blogland.


Thanks for stopping by!
K.

Advent Calendar Activities

The list, of course, was meant to have 24 numbers. But, as it turned out, we are very busy people!!! Pre-school, play-dates, going out, church activities...I felt that if I were to try to do every single one of our planned activities, I would have made the kiddos miserable and wouldn't enjoy this holiday season myself either. So we took it easy, slow, and only did things when we actually had free time AND were in the mood. I think that's the best approach to anything! The kiddos loved every single thing we did, and there was actually some degree of anticipation: "Is today the day for the jars and projects??" "Yeah!!!" :)

Besides the activities, we also read to our oldest son from the book "The Jesus Bible" every night, starting with Jesus' birth story and explaining along the way the story and the meaning of our Salvation.

So here it is, a very condensed report of what we did for Advent this year:

1. Planting Paperwhites. 

The hope was that they would bloom on or around Christmas, and...they did!!!

Paperwhite update: December 28th, 2011

Full bloom!

2. Deck the halls!!!

I let the kids decorate our tree this year. It actually didn't turn out too bad :)

 3. Put the lights on our roof. 

Of course, we chose the coldest day of December (or so it seemed)

 4. Cutting out paper snowflakes! 

5. Decorating a Gingerbread House! 

As you can see from the picture, it was a total FAIL. That thing fell about 4 times, before we called it quits. Still loads of fun, which is what counts the most, right? :)

 6. Watching Charlie Brown Christmas for the first time

We gathered all the pilows and blankets (sleeping bags included) around the house and had the best slumber party!

 7. Making handmade clay ornaments for the family members.

 8. Going on a Flashlight Walk in the neighborhood to see all the Christmas lights.

9. Making a Cranberry Garland.

10. Opening the first Christmas present--Nativity Scene.

And celebrating Jesus' Birthday with some cupcakes!!!!! :)

And that's how we counted days till Christmas this year...

Advent Calendar

I searched, and I searched...and then I searched some more...
I just wasn't happy with any of the ideas out there on the Internet. They were all either too simple (I know, I'm crazy that way), or too cheesy, or too big and bulky for my house. None fit my criteria: original, recyclable, and visual (my son particularly needs to SEE and count how many days are left till Christmas).


So I started brainstorming and looking around my house to find things I could repurpose for this task. I kept coming back to the empty baby food jars we had laying around, and all of a sudden it hit me: these would be perfect!! They are small enough to fit them anywhere in our house, but big enough to put stuff in them!!! A little treat or a little note...or maybe both!! :) Plus, they are definitely recyclable, so no wasting! Win!


The next task was to figure out how to organize them or arrange them that it wouldn't take too much space in our small house. I could have put them all in one long line on the storage shelve, and it would definitely be very visual. But the kids have direct access to that area because it's not very tall. Glass jars + kids' little busy hands--not a very safe idea. Maybe try arranging them on a table? And make a holiday centerpiece out of it...Hmmm...And here is when my brain started spinning extra fast: "...moving all the jars back and forth every time we sit down to eat is just too much...but what if they were all together, on some sort of a tray, or pedestal....or...."DING!"... A cupcake stand!!!"


It was such a simple but perfect concept!! Now all I had to do was to "dress up" my jars and come up with ideas for our Advent Calendar. Scrapbook paper, Mod Podge, some ribbon, and a sharpie--Lucy's baby food jars never looked so fancy! :)

Of course, I hit a tiny little rock on the way...the were only 23 holders on my cupcake stand...and 25 days. But the solution was pretty easy. We would do 24 days till Christmas, and for the #24 it will be not a jar but my kids' first Christmas present--Nativity Scene by Little People. We were planning to give it to them for Christmas, but doing so before Christmas made so much more sense!!! They would get to play with it and reenact the story of Christ's Birth on actual Christmas Eve--perfect!


So here it is, our simple but sophisticated DIY baby food jar Advent Calendar!

New Beginnings!!!

It's a brand new year and a brand new attitude!!!
This past year has been full of great events, trips, meeting new people, discovering new things and places...it has also brought some sorrow and sadness, which was very-very hard to take in and process, but it only magnified for me the the value of "today". I won't go into details of my resolutions for 2012 (there are so many, that it scares me that I have THAT much to work on :) ), but I do have an intention to change this year. I will take little steps toward my goals with tiny accomplishments and victories, all the while having fun with my two precious children and a beloved hubby!!


One of the things that kept me going during this hard time recovering from the death of my Dad were, believe it or not, holiday crafts...I admit, there were days I felt guilty that I enjoyed something as much as I did, where as I maybe should have been more somber and reserved. But...the two crazy kiddos that I'm given to raise and care for needed my attention, my guidance, and my presence. They don't have that emotional pain from the loss of their Dedushka (grandpa), and they don't quite understand the depth of my grief...They live in the moment...they only focus on emotions of today...and that's OK. That's kids :)


They saved me from having a self-centered miserable time at Christmas and helped me to look forward to something fun and exciting and to actually enjoy this time with my family and enjoy teaching my children about God's saving Grace and His everlasting Love.


I wanted the memory of my Dad to be present during this holiday season though...and one way to keep it  a constant reminder of him in the midst of "cheer and joy" was my choice of the Christmas decorations and our wrapping paper this year. The black represents the mourning for my Dad, the white is for hope that he's in heaven, and the red is for Christ. Every time I looked around our house, I saw my Dad being there with us...It was kinda sad to see so much black around us, but that's what made it special and meaningful.

We did quite a few projects kind of in the concept of an Advent Calendar. I say "kind of" because we never followed it to the dot, so I think to say that would be an overstatement. Nonetheless, it was a lot of fun and something that I hope the kids and I will remember through pictures for a long time.
I'll share what we did and how we spent the holidays in the crazy "R" household in the next few posts:)
As for now, Happy New Year!!!

Christmas is over...

As hard as it was to realize that this is the first holiday without my Dad in the picture, it was a good time...time of healing and adjustment. I tried very hard to focus on the positives, on my kids, on my family that I still have. Yes, sadness is still lingering...sometimes it lets go, and sometimes it engulfs me with the unexpected waves of new emotions...Like when I had to send my holiday packages over to Europe and realized that a package to my parents' house is the smallest and lightest of all...It had never happened before...I would always send New Year's gifts, plus, a gift for Papulya's Birthday, which is right after Christmas. The package would be quite big, filled with surprises and some candy for my dad, who had quite a sweet tooth. This year, the packages seemed so light and slim...<sigh>....
Shopping was hard. Men's and fishing/hunting aisles were my enemies...By old habit, I would stop by there and start thinking "Oh, Dad would have loved that!!!" only to quickly realize: "Oh wait...not anymore" and to run out the store in tears...It was a hard holiday season...and it still continues.
As a Russian, I celebrate New Year's Eve, and so does my family. We would always call Belarus on New Year's Eve, at 5pm, to catch their beginning of a new year. The kids would open their gifts on New Year's Eve, leaving Christmas for focusing and celebrating Christ. Then my hubby and I would stay up till midnight watching a Russian movie, kissing at midnight, making wishes, and sipping something bubbly...I knew this year would be different...there have been already a few firsts "without Dad"...and it hurts, and it's natural.


Today is Papulya's Birthday. He would have been 67. It's a sad day...and I cry. I miss him...I miss calling him today and wishing him all the best, thanking him for being my Dad. I pray, and I pray, and I pray....and I say "thank you" to him this way because I don't know how else to send him my love. Happy Birthday, Papulya. Love you.

Thanksgiving

So yesterday was Thanksgiving. 
As usual, it was filled with great family time and, of course, great food. It was a good day. To my question "What are you thankful for?", my son declared "I'm thankful for my sister!" <aweee> He is such a sweet boy, and of all the things he could have said, he mentioned his little sis first...I was touched. And it got me thinking...family is always going to be your family. No matter what. You can't get away from it. You're stuck! Hopefully, stuck in a good way...They are the people you rely on in times of need, and they are the people you want to share your most wonderful moments in life with. Family rules! I'm happy my son, even at his tender age of just 4 years old, finds his little sis to be his biggest blessing.

As for me, I'm thankful for my wonderful hubs and my kids. They are the precious gift from God, for which I can't thank Him enough. I'm also so very grateful for my family, near and far, who love me and care for me in so many ways. I'm thankful for our church family, who never fail to support us, guide us, and walk with us in faith. I'm beyond blessed with some pretty cool friends. They are spread all over the world, but nonetheless, they are always here for me when I need them, and I always keep a secure cozy spot for them in my heart. And did I mention the neighbors? They're pretty great, too!!! :) So many great relationships and experiences to be thankful for!!!! But most of all, I'm thankful for the ultimate gift, the gift of salvation. God is so good and compassionate that He has sacrificed His only Son for us to be saved from the eternal wrath and instead gain the eternal life. Wow. Who can top that? Definitely a major reason to celebrate!!!!


But as we gathered at a family dinner table yesterday at my hub's parents' house, I couldn't help but miss my own family. My Mom and Dad...my sister and her little clan...my grandparents....I was sad. Don't get me wrong, my husband's family rocks, and I love them wholeheartedly. But looking at them being so happy together, enjoying the company of each other, watching the siblings' interaction, and especially, having both parents there...it just got me teary-eyed and sad that I won't have that any longer with my side of the family...my Dad will not be playing with his grand kids and he will not witness them grow and mature...and I won't be sitting next to my Dad, having my head on his shoulder...and my Dad won't be cooking his famous meals for us...A part of my family puzzle is lost, and it won't be complete anymore...
This feeling of envy and sadness on such nice holiday caught me off guard.

I miss my Dad. I feel sorry for my Mom. I pity my grandparents who feel guilty and that they deserved to go first. I sympathize with my sister who is torn between her own family and job responsibilities and my Mom's needs right now. I just feel a little unwell and guilty myself that I should be doing more, being there for them, providing answers and solutions. I know it's not up to me, and I can only do so much being thousands of miles away. I just wish things weren't so complicated. I wish I could do somethings significant for all of them. 

So it was a very nice holiday, but with a touch of sad. I think a lot of things to come will have this kind of "touch" to them...it's natural, and it's inevitable. I have to be prepared and welcome these sad feelings with gratitude--I have been blessed with a GREAT Dad!!! The memories of him are warm and touching and not the other way around...I have a great family back home. I have a great family here. I have so much to be thankful for, and so I am.

40 days

According to the Russian tradition, we observe a 40 day period of mourning to honor a deceased person. Today is the 40th day, and I have to say that it has been the hardest time on my life. I've never cried or hurt so much, and never did it hurt so deeply. I still can't quite believe that it had happened to my family...but the reality is slowly sinking in--Papulya is no longer with us. It still hurts whenever I think of him...I know it might for a while. It's hard to get used to new circumstances, hard to think differently, without him in the picture...but eventually you just gotta. It's inevitable and even necessary.  The longer you stay in your sad memories of the past, the deeper you get sucked into them...You don't realize you're being stuck, because your senses are so dull from the pain, and you think you're just being still in your sadness, but in reality you get swollen deeper and deeper into the swamp of your grief. Danger! Danger!


I do not want to be there...I want to honor my Dad by the great, funny, warm memories of him, and not dwell on the suffering of his last days or on my own pity. Papulya lived a relatively long and good life. He had worked very hard as an radio/telephone engineer at the same place for 35 years, something that happens very rarely these days, and retired with honors and recognition. He raised two daughters, watched them get married and have kids. What a blessing!! He immensely enjoyed having grandchildren. He loved them with all his heart, and they gave that love back in ten-fold!!! He was a good friend to many, reliable and trustworthy, always being asked for advice and opinion. But most of all, he was the best friend, a constant companion of 42 years, a loving spouse to my Mom.
We all struggle with the loss, but we all hold and will cherish many wonderful memories of my Dad...the memories we really ought to focus on at this time.


My Dad left this Earth very early, but that's only according to my timing. God had called him, and we have to find peace in this fact because it was according to His will, something beyond our power and understanding. We have to learn to accept this. And going through this painful process of dealing with the death of my Dad is a part of God's plan also...I hope and pray that it will only make us stronger and wiser in the end, not bitter and somber.


I don't really know what the future holds for me, for my family. I pray that we all find strength to overcome this dull pain in our hearts and will learn to take full breaths of air again, to feel joy, to smile again because something made us feel genuinely happy, whatever that something might be...
Papulya, my dear Papulya, you have been a huge part of my life, and you will always stay with me and hold that special spot in my heart. I hope and pray you're in heaven.
Люблю и помню.